Teen Troubles

Having good days and bad days with eldest at new school. Although quite what she’s got to complain about is seeming to escape us. Both Husband and I think her school is so much nicer than any place we were ever dragged - kicking and screaming - to, and as Husband keeps liking to remind us, he was sent in home-knitted jumpers with the wool thinned out and hand-me- down trousers which flapped well above his ankles, as he has been 6ft 1” since around the age of 11. (Eternally glad I never knew him then.)

Well, we’ve actually attended our first ‘Parent’s Evening’, together. (Yes, its still a novelty that bit.) God! If there is anything that is designed to make you feel that you really should be a grown up by now, it’s the parent’s evening at a secondary school. All the other parents look like grown ups (are they pretending too?) They’re doing it better than us though, and seem to know what queue to be in to see the right teacher at the right time. (Think it might have helped if I’d remembered to fill in the little time slot schedule the school sent us two weeks ago.) Those poor teachers, with about 150 kids they’ve got to try to first of all remember, and then, say nice things about. By the end of the evening they all looked a bit grey and withered with the strain.

Still, off we went to see them and introduce ourselves as the ‘new kid’s parents’, with at least a chance they’ll remember who she is as she still has the ‘new kid’ label stamped on her forehead. Yes, we know she’s only been here five minutes but please can you say something nice to us as we’ve had a week of strops and intermittent tears, punctuated by glares that we know are silently and menacingly saying ’I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS JUST SO YOU CAN PLAY HAPPY FAMILIES’ and ‘I PREFERRED IT WHEN WE LIVED APART, I HAD FRIENDS AND A SOCIAL LIFE THEN.’ She’s getting very good at it, you can just feel it now, that is, when you dare to look at her.

Her teachers were actually very nice, mostly young and apparently quite interested in her (but then again, maybe they’ve just been on some really good training courses and learnt what facial expressions and gestures to use at the right times- ooh, thinking about it, now I am suspicious, they were good.) But I have to say, absolutely nothing about them compared to the old teachers we used to have – I might mention a few names such as ‘Streaky’(who threw chalk board dusters at you), Tree-Trunks (had bad leg circulation problems and used to slope off to the book cupboard mid-lesson for a quick fag), ‘Bat-man’(the Head, who thought he could make himself look friendly and approachable to the pupils by wearing his academic gown and cap around the corridors - this was a comprehensive) and ‘Pick-and-Flic’(just don’t ask.) Compared to that lot, anyone seems normal.

What exactly is there for her to be so unhappy about?